The Top 10 Things Your Software Thinks about You

Ever wonder what your accounting and ERP software thinks of you?  We recently developed some top secret technology that actually reads the mind of software.  I know what you’re thinking, but yes, software actually has a mind.  And here at Faye Business Systems Group, we’ve tapped into it.  Here is a list of the Top 10 things your software thinks about you, with deference to David Letterman, but in no particular order:

1.        What?  Downloading to Excel again?  Doesn’t he know there’s a report for that?

2.        Why doesn’t she ever close the month?  Doesn’t she know her numbers will be all screwed up if she doesn’t run a period end close at the right time?

3.        How did I get here?  They only use about 10% of what I can do.   Jeez…they might as well be using Quickbooks.

4.        How many trees is this guy going to waste before he realizes he doesn’t have to print reports to paper anymore?  Repeat after me…PDF, PDF, PDF….

5.         Greenbar paper?  Really?  Stop it.  You’re killing me.

6.        So you want to get a new server for me?  I appreciate it.  I really do, but there’s this new fangled thing out there now called the cloud.  You should check it out.

7.        Do you treat your kids this way?  What?  You buy them one pair of shoes and expect the pair to last for 10 years?  I’m not saying you should upgrade me every year, but every once in a while would help.  Heck…once would have been nice.

8.       Sometimes I feel like the Maytag repair man or Rodney Dangerfield.  It’s lonely in here.  And I definitely get no respect.  You know, it’s not ALWAYS the software’s fault.  What about that loser you hired who merged all of your accounts payable vendors into one vendor?  How was that my fault?

9.       I know you don’t want to hear this, but your software consultants aren’t bad guys.  They kind of know what they’re doing.  They just may not be telling you what you want to hear.  Of course, they may also be idiots.   It’s honestly hard for me to tell.

10.    You don’t hear me complaining about YOUR parents, do you?  Stop saying bad stuff about the company that made me.  They’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, but we all tried the best we can.  You can’t choose your parents, you know?  Of course, you CAN choose your software.  And you chose me.

Okay, so your software is a little sarcastic and harsh.   But he/she/it makes some good points.   If I had to summarize – make sure the right people are trained in using your software to get the most out of it, don’t get hung up on the old ways of doing things or doing things because “that’s the way we’ve always done it”, and keep an open mind about your software consultants, the software company, and the software itself.

And, just remember, your software hears you….